I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
