And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
