dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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