just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
