Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My dick has a subreddit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
