thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
