I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
