best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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