i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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