we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
