yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Too much gin, very little bucket
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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