Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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