I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
