I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
