Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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