cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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