You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
