I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
