I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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