I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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