i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
