he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
