apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
