the condom got lost in my hair
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
