you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
