I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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