I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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