Can Purell be used as lube?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
