he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
