i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
