I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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