names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
