I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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