I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
then he tried to convert me to islam
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
