I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
