so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
