Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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