he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
