Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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