One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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