I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
