Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
