Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
