i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
