Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have demons in me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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