True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
MIDGETS
????
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
