i think i have herpe
just one?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
