Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
