Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
