honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In other news, I just burned my penis
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
