What a fucking waste of an outfit
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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