she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
