Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
